


Your Name

by SugarRum



Category: Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: F/M, Post TLJ, Post TROS, Subtle Sexual Content, The tros epilogue I was wishing for, Translation, if you haven't seen yet ep IX teaser there might be a little spoiler
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-22
Updated: 2019-05-22
Packaged: 2020-03-09 19:50:01
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,187
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18923884
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SugarRum/pseuds/SugarRum
Summary: Seven times in which she calls him by his name and one when he does it.**********Nothing new. Just reylo trash.Enjoy!





	Your Name

**Author's Note:**

  * A translation of [Your Name](https://archiveofourown.org/works/18911908) by [SugarRum](https://archiveofourown.org/users/SugarRum/pseuds/SugarRum). 



> This is my second attempt at writing in English (not my first language) so be gentle with me :) I am practicing to improve my english and I know for sure that there will be mistakes, but be patient and if you spot any errors please, please, please signal it. I should be writing in my mother tongue right now, 'cause I have to practice for the writing course I’m attending, but the fact that I always read in English is compromising my ability to write in my language (sometimes I even forget how to say certain words if not in English!). So the fact is that writing for me is like a never ending itch that I have to scratch, and if I can’t scratch it with my nails (aka my first language) I will use something else (English), because if I don’t scratch it (read as write something) I’m going to go insane. So with this oneshot (my first ever Reylo!) I am killing two birds with one stone.  
> No hate please :)  
> Enjoy!

-Your Name-

The first time she calls him with his true name they are close. _Too_ close. They are in a lift headed to her fate. _Their_ fate, because she knows by now that their destinies are intertwined.

She knew it when their hands touched, even though at first she tried to deny strongly the evidence of that bond, especially to herself: how could it be that her future was tied to the most feared and hated men of the galaxy. It was incredible, absurd, no sense. Not that her life has made much sense since BB-8 and Finn barged into her life, throwing her into a reality that for her has always been just a bunch of stories and legends, passed from mouth to mouth among the Niima merchants . But that situation was bordering on the ridiculous: she, a scavenger, alongside Kylo Ren. Pure madness.

Yet something inside her whispered to follow the unfolding of the events with confidence. And there she was, handcuffed and in the company of that same man.

He is too close, she can sense his discomfort, it’s hers too. They are not accustomed to be near people, she is learning but she can see thathe can’t and never wanted. It almost feels like being in the company of Master Skywalker. His face is bare, his helmet long gone, she can read him.

“Ben.” When she calls him, he flinches. She feels so confident saying it, from the moment their fingertips touched she felt like she knows him from the beginning of time. And Ben looks down at her. Ben Solo, not Kylo Ren. She sees it in his eyes. Without the mask his conflict is as clear as Jakku’s skies. He looks at her like a dangerous thing, his eyes drinking in her every details, his gaze curious and hesitant.But it’s only a fleeting moment. The next second he is again the most powerful weapon of the First Order.

*

The second time happens not long after. Snoke’s corpse lies motionless at the foot of the throne and they are fighting for their life. She is thrilled by the fight: she screams her anger and twirls her saber, driving it through one of the guard’s chest. She is still incredulous: he killed his master to save her and now they are fighting back to back, like they are supposed to be. And then they are trapped, blades to their throats, almost defeated.Adrenaline takes the best of her and she drops her saber and catch it again and with a swift motion her opponent is taken down, throat slashed. Eight and a half bodies lie on the floor and Ben is still struggling. The blade every second closer to his neck. She is petrified. Panic runs up from her legs, up her spine, through her limbs and she throws her weapon at him.

“Ben!”

He ignites the blade and it’s all over.

He is safe. Slightly injured but alive. He looks straight at her, all labored breath and trembling lips and she feels her legs almost giving in: he doesn’t have to look at her in that way. Those are not the eyes of a murderer but of a men who is ready to take what he is admiring.She looks away, her mind set to save what is left of the Resistance, but he is not answering to her pleas.

She looks back, searching for his eyes. She is hesitant, hope is slowly leaving her and when he turns around he is no longer Ben. The warlord Kylo Ren is back.

“Don’t do it, Ben.”

This is the third time she calls him such and his name begins to taste bitter on her tongue. He looks at her like she is something precious, something to hold tight in his grip and she feels breathless under his onyx gaze. A weight sits on her chest and his words do nothing but increase it. “You came from nothing. _You_ are nothing.”

She feels like a fool. Luke had warned her that it wouldn’t go as she had hoped.

Despite everything, when no long after that same day she closes the doors of the Falcon in his face, she swears to herself that she is going to wait for Ben to come home.

*

When his name crosses her lips again, a year has passed and she is once again covered in sweat and dirt with her feet deep in the sand of an all too familiar planet. She could almost be the same girl who left Jakku, but she is not. She knows it. _He_ knows it.

She can sense his surprise through their bond. They never appeared to each other after the battle on Crait, but their bond never ceased to exists. Snoke lied.

“Ben.” She greets him, and her voice doesn’t even sound like hers. She is more mature, more poised, she isn’t afraid of the man facing her, her legs are not shaking at his sight. Instead, his gaze can still make her heart waver.

_ Dirty traitor _ , she thinks. But she is not addressing Ben yet the treacherous muscle in her chest.

He acknowledges her with just a nod. But his eyes are ablaze.

A serious threat weighs on the galaxy and they have arranged to meet away from everything and everyone to decide what to do. "Enough chasing each other. The time has come to join forces. "

And she cannot fail to agree with him because she feels it in the Force that _this_ will be the showdown. Alone they will be defeated but together they have a small chance of success. She is aware that destiny is constantly changing but she still believes in the vision of their future that she has seen on Achto. She hope with her whole heart that what the Forcehas decided to show them will come true someday. The man who stands before her is the new Supreme Leader of the First Order, a ruthless man who has stained himself with the worst atrocities, and yet she feels dirty and weak at the thought of how much she has longed for that same man. But what's in front of her is also Ben, the one that in her darkest moment whispered words of comfort, assuring her that she was not alone. __

She doesn’t know if she can trust him yet, but she’ll grant him the benefit of the doubt.

“You have to earn my trust first.”

The shadow of a smile grazes his lips.

*

What once was the central cannon of the Death Star is now a huge crater. A crescent moon of jagged metal, corroded by the wind and the sea for at least thirty years. If she were still the orphan sold by her parents for drink money she would shout with joy at the sight of that ship's carcass: how many pieces could she scavenge and sell? She would have portions for a lifetime! She could retreat into her ramshackle AT-AT and live her remaining days in peace without submitting to the harassment of Unkar Platt.

But her old master is far away and the planet she had learned to call home even more. She can almost see it in the sky above: a small orange dot that still calls to her. All she can do is observe the sky in the position in which she is. She is lying on her back, with her arms wide open and a leg bent unnaturally. All around is silence, interspersed by the roar of the waves in the distance. She is so tired, she would like to close her eyes and let the Force take her, lift her from that mortal body, leave all pain behind. She tries to move her arm and hears a shout: only when she catches her breath does she realize that it was her. And everything that just happened floods her mind.

The emperor.

His laughter.

Ben’s hand searching for hers.

Seeing him throw himself against that monster that has re-emerged from the past.

An explosion.

Ben. Where is Ben? Why she can’t sense him.

_ Ben _ , she calls through their bond, _Ben._

The silence replies.

She tries to get up and every movement is a terrible torment, every muscle, every joint, every inch of skin is on fire. Her legs don’t cooperate. She lets out a long and sharp moan, she sounds like a dying animal. When she finally succeed in turning on her side she sees him. Ben is far away, lying sideways, his back turned towards her, his face hidden.

"Ben". Her voice cracks. She repeats it again and again but he remains motionless. She drags herself on her elbows, through glass and metal, she breathes through clenched teeth, the pain is nearly unbearable.

"Ben!" She shouts. His body is a dead weight when she pulls him to her chest. She shakes him lightly and then with more strength, but he is not breathing and his eyes remains shut. “Please, Ben.”

The blood that drips on her eyes, from a cut on her forehead, mixes with tears. On Jakku she learned not to do it, crying was useless and an unnecessary waste of liquids, and the times she did it could be counted on the fingers of one hand. She remembers it all: she cried for the pangs of hunger, for the pain of broken bones, for the harbored anger against Unkar Platt and for the death of Selina, the only human being of Niima who had shown her some kind of affection. Since she joined the Resistance she has been crying more than she ever did in a lifetime. She already said goodbye to too many people which in such a short amount of time had became so important to her. She waited for fifteen years for a family that would never come back and by chance another family found her. Certainly, it was perhaps the most dysfunctional family in the galaxy, but it was still a family.

And now she finds herself crying on Ben's body, the only one whose end she hadn't expected. It wasn’t a remote possibility, but she never thought of an after without him. They should have won together. Or lose together. Neither of them should have stayed without the other. The pain of aching limbs and broken bones is just a background noise, an even greater pain spreads through her, engulfing her every emotion. She can't cry or scream with anger anymore, even breathing seems difficult, almost useless now. She wasn't ready for Ben's death. And she finds herself thinking that if this is the price for his redemption, then it is too high a cost to pay. She would rather fight a thousand years against Kylo Ren than see Ben so helpless, with no chance of return.

She rests her head on his chest and waits, she doesn't know what.

What had seemed a semblance of family, a kind of belonging that she had waited for a lifetime, now is brutally torn from her hands. The future that she has seen, crumbles unfinished.

That revelation takes her breath away. The Force has betrayed her.

A visceral scream rises in her throat and she gives vent to her suffering. With a fist she beats Ben's chest and a powerful shock wave throws her away from him.

When she gets up again there is an oscillation in the Force, an awakening. A forceprint, that she would recognize between millions, vibrates vital to the other end of their bond. And when she meets his gaze, she is overwhelmed with joy.

*

The trial doesn’t last long, almost a blink of an eye to be a debate on such an important business. But the war is over and the galaxy is ready to rebuild, there is no time to waste to decide the punishment for the fallen Leader. Death or exile. There is not much to think about. Most would like to see him dead, make him pay for all the lives he took. They even invited her to the council for the decision, but her choice is so obvious that they don't even ask her to express it. Poe saw her leave the cell where they kept him locked up and Rose heard her cry in her bed.

She was the first one to figure it out and when she didn't deny it, everything became real. Finn laughed thinking it was a joke but, when he looked at her serious expression, he got angry. "How can you defend him after all he has done?"

"Because she loves him." Rose defended her, giving her a sympathetic look.

"I followed Leia as a faithful soldier and loved her as a mother. She believed until the end that her son could redeem himself. I certainly won't kill him." Poe told her before entering and, against everyone's expectations, he voted for the exile.

They chose an uninhabited planet of the Outer Rim as his last destination. He will remain there for life. She, Chewie and Finn will accompany him, and Poe will escort them with a whole squadron of X-wing, even though Ben gave his word that he will not try to escape. He has passively accepted the verdict of the council.

It makes her angry to see him chained and with his head down, she knows who he was but she also knows that he is not that man anymore: he has saved the galaxy from the biggest threat ever, that deserves to be recognized!

There are many people on the day of departure, two wings of crowd open up as they pass: there is a heavy air, a surreal silence, almost like a mourning procession, then someone spits at Ben's feet and someone else shout _murderer_. The discontent wakes up and they are just in time to board the Falcon, before the revolt begins.

When they get on the planet she cannot believe her eyes, even Ahch-To could not compete with such a quantity of water. Omereth is ninety-eight percent seas and oceans and its endless expanses extend as far as the eye can see. Here and there some scattered islets emerge from its placid waters.

"The planet will be erased from the navigation systems and no one can get here, if not someone who has already been." Poe explains once they land. The message is clear: Ben will have no way out.

The island is large, rich in vegetation and with a spring of drinking water, but uninhabited except for some colorful birds. It might seem an idyll and instead it is a prison.

When the others go back to the Corellian merchant ship, she remains motionless, her feet planted on the ground and her eyes firmly anchored in Ben's. Finn's voice calling her name comes muffled, she can only hear her heart pounding in her ears. She knows she has to leave but she can't do it. _How can it end like this?_ , she thinks, _There is a future to fulfill!_

He manages to read her mind, because he says: "I don't know what the Force showed you that day but it is right that things go like this, it would be selfish to hope otherwise. You can't stay here, the galaxy needs its beacon of hope, its heroine.”

“No one ever asked me if I wanted to be. And it was never me. It was you all along. The hidden hero. The redeemed son of the Light. You killed Snoke and helped me defeat Palpatine, you are a hero as much as me. Why can’t you see that?”

“Do you think that they would believe me if I say that it was me who killed Snoke? Don’t be naïve. They will not took me in as nothing ever happened, not after everything I’ve done. My sins can’t be erased. You know that, Rey. Don’t fool yourself, I’m still Kylo Ren in their eyes.”

She knows she looks miserable. She doesn’t know what she has to do.

_ Go home. _ His voice is a hoarse murmur in her mind.

_ Not without you _ , she replies through their bond.

His eyes betray the anguish of the moment. _It's too late, what you saw was just a projection of your desires, nothing more. There is no future for us._

Those words hits her like a punch in the stomach. That is his way of facing adversities, barricading himself behind self-pity and bitter words. But it is not enough to let her leave him behind on that Force forsaken planet. She knows how his mind works, better than he is willing to admit.

And he is also a bad liar. He was not so confident when they had their real goodbye, the one where there was no audience, back on the Resistance base, in his prison cell. She can still hear his voice whispering in the dark that, no matter what, they belong to each other. It seems he already forgot about his own words.

But she knows his heart.

Finn comes back and pulls her by the arm. "Let's go."

She doesn’t resist because in that moment her every thought is focused on Ben and on that farewell that should not be such. That is not a surrender, it is just a truce. They have their bond for now but she will find a way to be with him. She will not let others decide for her, just to leave her to manage the consequences. She can choose for herself now.

"Ben." She calls him. He keeps staring at her without moving. "I'll come back for you."

*

When it happens for the first time, they are on Jakku. It took only a glance at the wall engraved with the small notches in ordered for her to come back to feel like the scavenger abandoned by her parents. But Ben is there with her, he draws her to him and holds her in his arms, without saying anything. Like her, he knows what it's like to wait, to count endless days in the shadow of loneliness. But now she is no longer alone. Following him in his exile was the best choice she ever made: convincing Poe was difficult and trying to reason with Finn even more. Her friend was ready to tie her up just to let her not go. What was supposed to be his last destination has become only the starting point of a traveling confinement.

“I’ll be his prison.” she argued before the insistent refusals of the council "I am the only one who can stand up to him. If you do not consent, I will abandon the Resistance and nothing will convince me to come back." For the first time she asserted her position and even though she could have used a simple jedi trick to convince everyone, she preferred not to do it, it didn't seem right.

Jakku is their second stop, there was something to recover in her old AT-AT, but now she can’t remember what. Ben’s lips on hers are an unpredictable, but welcome, distraction. It’s not their first kiss but there is something new about the way he holds her against him, in the insistence of his embrace, in the sure touch of his hands that usually move with an intoxicating devotion, but which now seem to have a life of their own as they slide slowly over her body. There is something different even in his intentions and the vehemence of his gaze is just another confirmation that something is about to change.

Intimacy is something that scares her and not having control of her body even more. She lets herself go with fear to those attentions and Ben seems to feel it because a moment later a sense of calm floods her and his hands stop on her hips. She doesn’t know if it’s the torrid air of Jakku or the heat of his actions, but she is breathless. However, when he takes a step back and looks at her apprehensively, she starts breathing again and feels she can choose freely, without the fear that the echo of Ben's disappointment reaches her. There is no trace of it in his dark eyes.

The decision is made before she can think twice. She grabs his hand and pulls him towards what was her old makeshift bed and he resists, still uncertain. She reassures him by standing on tiptoe to brush his lips.

The Force vibrates with energy around them, a hum that grows in intensity every second until it becomes deafening.

There is no frenzy in their gestures, nor the haste to bare the other. It is a process of reciprocal disclosure and, with each garment that falls abandoned, they also strip off their fears, their insecurities. There is no embarrassment, just acceptance.

And like a believer who kneels at an altar, so he bends over her body and venerates it with his lips and his hands, imploring to enter her most sacred place. His mouth speaks an unknown language that she can't answer and lets him teach it to her. _You need a teacher._ The words that he screamed at her so long ago seem more prophetic than ever.

She is not interested in knowing where and when he learned to do it, whether when he was still a jedi apprentice or when he became the dark side heir, even though the thought of him with other women remains there somewhere in her mind, while he continues to guide her towards what, at every moment that passes, seems to her more and more her ruin. That connection, that allowed both of them to appear to each other at a galaxy of distance, now sharpens their senses, making them a single being. There is no boundary between their thoughts, no wall or defense raised to prevent one from reading the conscience of the other. Their minds are naked and vulnerable, exposed to the rushing storms of their feelings.

A thought passes into Ben's mind and she almost laughs: he learned it from some ancient texts he recovered on a distant planet and this confession seems to reassure and entertain her at the same time. A spark of embarrassment flashes quickly in his eyes when he gets up to look at her. Then, with what seems like a defiance smile, he returns to his debauched and obscene actions, burying his face between her legs.

At the apex of ecstasy she cannot help but scream his name, which resonates like a desperate cry in the silence of the desert, in the stillness of that AT-AT, relic of that evil that both helped to destroy. Only the ruins of that dark shadow that enveloped the galaxy remain.

And trembling ruins remains of her in the afterglow of that pleasure, no longer unknown.

*

After wandering around the galaxy for a long time, they decided to stop and chose a small woody moon of a gaseous planet, which orbits a binary system, as their temporary home. They still wear the scars of that past from which they cannot escape but which seem to belong to another life. They are far from the worldly noise of the Central Systems, far from politics and its implications. No one there knows their identities.

This place called them: the Force flows powerful in everything here.

And it is indeed a change in the Force that disturbs his meditation. By now a minimum oscillation is enough to send him in alarm. He probe the other side of their bond, to find out if she too has noticed, and he senses it.

There is something different, her light is almost blinding, a beautiful sun shining just for him. He can feel her heart hammering in his ears, it seems that it wants to fly out of her chest. It's an unnatural rhythm, almost like two hearts beating in unison. He realizes that she is not the source of that new light, but something inside of her that sparkles like a distant star.

Driven by curiosity, he nudges that little dot of light and finds a sentient being.

When realization hits him he is speechless, breath caught in his throat and heart beating at light speed.

He is running before he knows it, one foot after another, almost tripping in his frenetic steps. He feels her, her joy, her fears. She is paralyzed by the doubts: she is asking herself if this is the right time, if they are ready.

_ Yes, yes. _

He repeats in his mind, hoping she would listen to him.

When he arrives in the clearing where they set up the Falcon, he is out of breath. She is standing next to the toolbox she uses to hold that piece of junk together. In one hand she holds a screwdriver and the other is firm on her abdomen. On her face there is an expression of amazement. She is dirty with grease and the sun shines on her forehead beaded with sweat, and in his eyes she has never been more beautiful.

"Rey!"

**Author's Note:**

> If you liked this shot let me know or leave kudos!!  
> Thank you!!


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